Only if you knew my story...

Note: The current story is written and published with the consent of the person involved. The name and places may be anonymous due to varied reasons. Here K's journey through it all....

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Everything was good and happy going in K's life. Happy family, caring boyfriend... A little did she know things were not going to remain the same. Everything started in her intermediate 2nd year, she gave more priority to her boyfriend than her family, who was over possessive about her, she knew it wasn't a healthy relationship... Mentally. In the meanwhile she was being molested by her relative.. Family is the safest haven they say, but for her, he had started to destroy her everything. With all these going she couldn't concentrate on her studies, she was so taken aback by everything that her dreams of getting into an IIT were shattered. The irony? The very person who molested her became the reason for her family falling apart, and what is more odd is that no one knew what she had gone through all this time except for her sister and aunt. All this was mentally taking a toll on her. She had been screaming in her head for help, urge to tell it out but she couldn't. With all this going on, her boyfriend called off their relationship and broke up with her. She was shattered... First was her family whom she loved to her life was in pieces and then him.... Nothing was going right.

Not that her boyfriend ever did any good, he constantly tortured her mentally about everything, fought with her for no reason at all and became a major reason for her mentally abusive relationship. Although she loved him she could never take the stake at which they were together.

The pain of family falling apart and her boyfriend leaving her became so intolerable that her real pain started.... Her suffering. She had no one she could rely after what happened to her. All she could rely was physically self-harming to reduce the mental stress... She started slitting her hand with a blade. She had frequent panic attacks and cried countless hours and cried herself to sleep.

One fine day her mom found her self harming and realized she needed immediate help, she took her to a psychiatrist. Soon here bachelor were about to start, she who was supposed to join Symbiosis joined CBIT as it was nearer to home and was a better option. So, her doctor prescribed her medicines which slowed down her thought process, she was sleepy most of the time, anorexic and got weak by every passing day. She started getting scared of every little thing she saw. But she didn't give up, she took the chance of bachelors as a new life's checkpoint and decided starting anew.

Her mom visited her everyday even after her college started. She sought for new friends in this totally new college. She thought is would be a fine reason for her to finally get back to a happy herself. She started being nice and super friendly with everyone to which a few people decried of rumors and linked her up with other people. Only if they had the idea of her suffering, would they had known it wasn't a cake walk as they see.

She couldn't sit for exams let alone write them. She was growing weaker day by day. She wanted to discontinue but thanks to the friends she made here who convinced her from evicting the college. Her bunch was her real support system in college. Her mom never forced her opinion on her and always valued her decision.

They say troubles never come alone and bring along a chain of them along, something similar happened to her. She was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, started being bipolar, suffered dermatellomania and OCD. Medications really didn't support her system, so rather the doctor prescribed her medication to increase her appetite. With this she started eating as much food worth of 3 days in a single go. She skipped classes with the very purpose to eat. And the result? She got chubbier. Rumors never shut themselves out, this time they accused her of boozing. Who are these people to judge? Did they ever watch her do it? How easy has it become for people to say about others without caring of how the other might feel once they get to know about it.

This triggered her anxiety and urged her to stop coming college. The feeling of being judged killed her from inside, she felt ugly inside out. She was uncomfortable in her very own skin. In this process, she lost herself as an individual being.

Remembering her school days, she was much more confident and now even breathing felt a needed permission. Her mom encouraged her to never lose herself she motivated her that gave her some self-confidence. To this day, her mom and friends remain to be the sole reason of her existence.

In her second year of bachelors, she had this needless urge to kill herself yet she sought out for help. She visited her psychiatrist who had motivated her like no one else did. She said "Buddha once said you become what you think. Nobody is perfect in this world and it is the sole self that can decide whether to live for self or for others". These words hit her hard. She realized in the process of hurting herself she was hurting her mom and her precious friends because of the very reasons she shouldn't have ever bothered.

She felt the urgency to tell her mom everything she kept away from her to which her mom was devastated, to her moms only jewels were her two daughters.

She decided to forgive and forget about her obnoxious boyfriend, the inhumane relative, and everyone who had hurted her till now. She decided never to lose herself ever again and decided not to look at people who hurt her neither did she want her loved ones who loved her equally to look for them. These were her ways to protect her feelings. She still wonders if people ever realized that they hurt her in a way that had left scars on her mind and heart.

She eventually started acknowledging people who had suffered way more harshly, which made her realize that her pain was far less compared to theirs. She realized that it was "okay not to feel okay" and was vocal about her struggle. She realized it made her feel lot better than it did ever before. The point of putting self before others had taken effect and had started to change her life for good.

Her two little cousins bought back her lost smile, after all babies are miracle ;) To her they had done a great deal coming into her life. Her mom, her sister and her friends had always been her backbone and the reason for what she is today.

She made it through the 4 years of her bachelors. Not that she's completely okay now, she still feels judged, still realizes that she'll get all the stares in her life probably again, feels ugly on outside but now not in the inside, she grew into a stronger soul.

She decided to be vocal about her struggles. She swore to help anybody who is through the similar pain, after all man can do wonders, for me right now she's a wonder woman.

To every person out there here's K's story, what's yours?